On Becoming a Hero

I’m having lunch with one of my executives, a great guy with wonderful personal values who ran our HR department at Alberto.

He tells me his wife is driving him crazy: she wants to build a new home close to where they’re living, and then he’ll have to go through the  ‘agony’ of moving. He tells me he’s planning to cause her grief for the next year before he eventually gives in. Now I know that Doug adores his wife, and they have a fantastic marriage. So I look at him and say,  “Doug??? Let’s go next-door to Amling’s [a flower and landscaping shop] and pick up a lovely new flowering bush. Then why don’t you write a lovely note to your sweet wife and take home the note, the bush, and a bottle of champagne and celebrate your new house decision. Instead of being a pain for the next year, you can be an absolute hero, and she’ll talk about this for the rest of her life.”

After a few minutes of convincing he decided to do just that. It’s a story they tell over and over. Let me ask you, what’s the gain in causing someone you love a year of pain?